What do I want to be called?

Rich, 4-4-11

Ashley asked me this question the day after Addie was born.  "Grandpa?"  Perhaps something else?

I thought my reply would be, "Sure, 'Grandpa' would be fine."  I didn't tell her right away, though, because of other conversations going on in the room.  But I didn't get back to her on this, either, and now I'm not so sure what my answer -- my once and final answer -- is.

"Grandpa?"  Me, really?

I can't say the name bothers me, nor that I'm especially drawn to other grand-dad nicknames like "Opa" or "Poppy."  (Though I have to admit -- curious about alternatives, I also found "Ye Ye," "Grumps," "Phar-Phar," and "Dziadzia" at a new parents' website.  Why tell my grandchild to address me by a name even I can't figure out how to pronounce or where it came from?)  I called both of my grandfathers "Grandpa," as do my kids theirs, so to me the name has a long history of good and loving use.  It ought to be a slam-dunk -- "Grandpa."

And yet, I hesitate.  Can I really don this mantle as easily as slipping on a fleece jacket?  Do I deserve it, and even if so, is it really for me to decide?  Shouldn't someone else choose?  That's it -- maybe, like the bit of fortune-telling performed when a Korean 1-year-old chooses from a collection of gifts, we should scatter slips of paper with all those crazy names in front of little Addie, and let her pick.

"Dziadzia," she chose?  How about best two out of three?

The problem, I think, is The Rookie Mistake.  I'm like the minor league baseball player, who, once invited to join the big leagues, either thinks he should instantly prove himself as something special, or is nervous because he actually knows the awful truth.  Not so fast, rookie!  You may be in the major leagues, but you're not yet a Major Leaguer -- nor does anybody expect you to be one.  You grow into it over time.  You figure out what you can do, what you're good at, and what you need to be good at, even if at first you're not.

So I say, let's go with "Grandpa."  It's really not about what I think, anyway -- it's all about what that little miracle girl thinks as she comes to know me over time.  She'll probably pronounce it more like "Dziadzia" at first, anyway. 

I can't wait to hear what that sounds like.